New Habitude program at Turning Point!

It was six years ago, a moment of weakness took my life into a hopeless downward spiral.  In those six years was a nightmare of drug addiction and despair.  For six years I lived in frustration, rage, and fear. It seems that in this time nothing went right at all. I was living a life that was not intended for me.

I was the kind of guy that really took care of his body and now I was abusing it.  I knew I have to get clean, I also knew that I needed to get clean.  This knowledge was the easy part.  When I thought about acting on it though I felt trapped and hopeless.  I looked at myself in the mirror one day and wondered who I was. I still had a family that stayed behind me even after all the things that I did to them, I lost my girlfriend why I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and also lost many friends during this journey, and essentially gave them up to chaise a high.  I had been giving so much, but yet I found my life reduced to this, a series of highs and a room in my mother’s house at the age of 29.  I realized to myself that this was not life that this was not living; I had lost the joy that came with being an honest man.  I missed all the little things that life has to offer.  I pretty much just missed life all together.

It was not the first time during my journey that I had theses realizations, but it was the first time that they really hit home.  I really came to realize that it was the first time I understood or chose to understand how directly and personally I was hurting people I loved.  I made the decision to surrender.  My problems were too big for me and I came to realize that I could no longer kid myself into believing I could solve them myself.   I could no longer fool myself into believing i’d get around to straightening up after just one more high.  I could no longer fight alone.

In the past my response to helplessness would have been to use, but this time I started to pray, with tears in my eyes I asked God for help.  I revealed to him my weakness and told him I was ready to live for him. And, sound crazy or not, everything just started to fall into place.  I found Turning Point and I started to take my recovery piece by piece.  My face started to fill out again, the dead look in my eyes was replaces by something resembling the person I used to be.  I was broken but I was healing.  Piece by piece I was healing.  Day by day went by and everything got easier, I could feel the strength returning to my body and I enjoyed the freedom that came with stating down my demons by facing them instead of running,  Piece by piece everything started to come back. I am laughing and smiling again, and my mind was so positive again along with my body.  I am really blessed for all the support I got from turning point along with my family, nobody was more hopeless than me, nobody more aimless or tortured or imprisoned by his own bad choices.  I made it out of my own terrible darkness and into this bright light.

My dad being an addict once told me that it’s a shitty world out there a real shitty world and I being a user as well bought into that saying it was not till I cleaned my mind that I realized it’s a great world.

I came to turning point after relapsing with Cocaine after roughly 4 ½ - 5 years clean.  I had previously participated in counseling and rehabilitation.  What I have learned here about myself is going to be invaluable over the remaining years of my life.  I am now aware of my emotions and aware of how they can dictate my behavior “if I allow them to”.

One of the best realizations I have come to is that I don’t have t go this alone, as I always assumed.  The two year aftercare, even though I haven’t yet started it, will be my support and safe venue to open up about my new experiences. This program has allowed me to get much healthier in mind and body, which is a huge weight, lifted of my back.  All I can do now is have a positive outlook on my daily interactions and I know I’ll be alright.  A.W.