Archive for October, 2009
Friday, October 16th, 2009
- Accept your partner ‘as is.’ Avoid blaming. Determine that you are in your relationship to enjoy yourself, not to try to fix, reform, or straighten out your partner. Be responsible for your own feelings. Allow yourself to influence your partner, but do not demand that he or she must change. Also, give her or him the freedom to influence you. Yes, to persuade and inform you.
- Express appreciation frequently. Avoid steady criticism. Acknowledge your partner often for small things. Find, discover, or even create things you really value about your partner. Say them. Honesty is important here. Avoid the main relationship ‘killer’ - frequent criticism of your partner.
- Communicate from integrity. Be honest regarding beliefs and evidence that conflict with your own views of what is happening. When your partner is right, admit it. Be both honest and tactful. Allow different perceptions to exist. Agree to stop penalizing each other for your honesty as you now often may do. Agree that both of you will be honest and let the other ‘get away’ with honesty.
- Share and explore differences with your partner. Explore disagreements with your partner to move toward a higher resolution that accepts parts of both your views. Or, to agree to disagree. Additionally, be ready to compromise without pretending that you agree when you really don’t agree.
- Support your partner’s goals. Don’t surrender your own integrity and your own important desires and views, but go as far as you honestly can to support your partner even when you clearly disagree.
- Give your partner the right to be wrong. Respect both of your rights to be fallible humans- your inalienable right to make mistakes and to learn from your own experiences and errors. Don’t honor only your own right to be an error-prone human!
- Reconsider your wants as goals that you may achieve later. (This is a guideline that enables you to work properly with the other six guidelines.) When you don’t get what you want or desire, remind yourself that you don’t have to get what you want, now or ever!
Note: Choose to practice the Seven Guidelines as a unilateral commitment regardless of what your partner does or doesn’t do. Each time you have not succeeded, look to discover a mistake you may have made. You also may have something significant to learn about your way of talking or listening.
Tips for Learning and Using the Guidelines
To start you off, here are three simple tips:
Tip #1: Learn ‘by littles.’ Take one small bite size piece to ‘master’ at a time. Don’t overload yourself by trying to learn these Seven Guidelines all at once.
Tip #2: Test our assertions, one at a time. Test our claims to prove to you that the Seven Guidelines are valid. Or to prove them false. Be willing to rework our guidelines to make them more understandable or workable for yourself.
Tip #3: Make continuing small improvements in your understanding or use of the Seven Guidelines every week. Aim for improvement, not for perfection. Persist!
Taken from the book, Making Intimate Connections, 7 Guidelines for Great Relationships and Better Communication by Dr. Albert Ellis and Ted Crawford
Thursday, October 15th, 2009
Drug Test 3 - Panel Screen Urine Kit THC/COC/OPI
Turning Point Detox is now distributing Drug Test Kits. Drug Test 3 - Panel Screen Urine Kit THC/COC/OPI is a great value combination test, FDA approved urine one-step, rapid drug test kit, detecting 3 most common drugs: Cocaine, Marijuana, Morphine and Heroin in one urine sample. This 3 panel drug screening device offers the ultimate in combination and cost. Drug Test 3 - Panel Screen Urine Kit THC/COC/OPI could detect drug use in a time frame of drugs and their metabolites presence in urine according to scientific researches.
Simply remove the cover and dip into the sample to screen for the 3 drug groups. Drug Test 3 - Panel Screen Urine Kit THC/COC/OPI supplied with full and easy to follow instructions.
Results in 5 minutes.
2 Red Lines = Negative.
1 Red Line = Preliminary Positive.
Cocaine, Marijuana - THC, Opiates
OPI - Opioid analgesics comprise a large group of substances, which control pain by depressing the central nervous system. Morphine is the prototype compound of this group. Morphine is excreted in the urine primarily as morphine-3-glucuronide while smaller amounts are excreted as unchanged free morphine and other metabolites. It is also the major metabolic product of codeine and heroin. Morphine is delectable in the urine for several days after an opiate dose.
THC - Marijuana (9-tetrahydrocannabinol) is the primary active ingredient in cannabinoids (marijuana). When ingested or smoked, it produces euphoric effects. Users have impairment of short-term memory and THC use slows learning. Also, it may cause transient episodes of confusion, anxiety, or even frank toxic delirium. Long term, relatively heavy use may be associated with behavioral disorders. The peak effect of smoking THC occurs in 20-30 minutes and the duration is 90-120 minutes after one cigarette. Elevated levels of urinary metabolites are found within hours of exposure and remain detectable for 3-10 days after smoking. The main metabolite excreted in the urine is 11-nor- 9-tetrahydrocannabinol-9-carboxylic acid.
COC - Cocaine derived from the leaves of the coca plant, is a potent central nervous system stimulant and a local anesthetic. Cocaine induces euphoria, confidence and a sense of increased energy in the user; these psychological effects are accompanied by increased heart rate, dilation of the pupils, fever, tremors and sweating. Cocaine is used by smoking, intravenous, intranasal or oral administration, and excreted in the urine primarily as benzoylecgonine in a short time. Benzoylecgonine has a longer biological half-life (5-8 hours) than cocaine (0.5-1.5 hours) and can generally be detected for 24-80 hours after cocaine use or exposure.
QTEST One-Step Drug Screening Cup for 12 Drugs
Drug Screening Test Cups are the simplest, self-contained on-step type of drug test. Results are visible within minutes. Our no step drug screening test cups are testing for 12 drugs of abuse. Drug test cups are the easiest to use onsite testing product on the market. It is both a collection cup and testing device that delivers instant results with unrivalled ease and convenience.
Fresh urine does not require any special handling or pretreatment. Fresh urine sample should be collected in the specimen container provided. Ensure that the sample volume meets the minimum level required as indicated on the side of the collection cup. Like other onsite test products, urine drug screening cups are a qualitative test - it only determines the presence of drugs at detection limits comparable to NIDA cutoff limits.
QTEST™ - One Step On Site Multi Drug Testing Cup could detect and recognize 12 illegal drugs:
- Amphetamine (AMP)
- Barbiturate (BAR)
- Benzodiazepines (BZD)
- Cocaine (COC)
- Opiates (OPI)
- Phencyclidine (PCP)
- Marijuana (THC)
- Tricyclic Antidepressant (TCA)
- Propoxyphene (PPX)
- Oxycodone (OXY)
- Methamphetamine (MET)
- Methadone (MAD)
Directions for use:
- Insert urine into the QTEST™ cup - One Step On Site Multi Drug Testing Cup and replace cap
- In 5 minutes you can read the drug screen testing results
- If you need to confirm non-negative (preliminary positive) drug screen test result, send cup to laboratory
Both drug test kits are available in Ontario from Turning Point Detox. Please contact us for more information.
Thursday, October 15th, 2009
When interacting with others… Keep Your Goal in Mind.
Many Beliefs may create a “Feeling” that tries to “drive” Confrontation. Feelings of Injustice, of Unfairness, or Frustration and a variety of other Demands. Sometimes to win is to Loose. So Keep the Goal In Mind and ask yourself before you say or do something —
“Is This Going to help me Obtain My Goals? “
Look not so much for a resounding YES, since oft times the solutions are complex and elusive. Look more for the point blank ” NO “…this will only anger or upset the other person.
Then keeping in mind your Goal…Stop and Don’t!
It may have a Feeling that this is somehow “Not Right”…however By Placing your Goal at the Forefront of your Mind…you will be able to correct that feeling to knowing that you are doing “What’s Best” at the moment.
It’s a Win-Win!!!
Contact Turning Point Detox in Hamilton, Ontario for more guidance and help with your addiction fighting goals. We provide help with drug and alcohol addiction and treatment. Call us toll-free at 1-877-523-8369.
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
- Don’t regard this as a family disgrace. Addictive behavior is something all humans express to some degree or the other. When it it “Gets out of Hand”… Humans Can and DO make Changes.
- Don’t nag, preach or lecture to the person. Chances are he/she has already told him or herself everything you can tell them. He/she will take just so much and shut out the rest. You may only increase their need to lie or force one to make promises that cannot possibly be kept.
- Guard against the “holier-than-thou” or martyr-like attitude. It is possible to create this impression without saying a word. A person’s sensitivity is such that he/she judges other people’s attitudes toward him/her more by small things than spoken words.
- Don’t use the “if you loved me,” appeal. Since addictive behavior is compulsive…this approach will very likely increase counterproductive guilt.
- Avoid any threats unless you think it through carefully and definitely intend to carry them out. There may be times, of course, when a specific action is necessary to protect children. Idle threats only make the person feel you don’t mean what you say.
- Don’t hide the drugs/alcohol or dispose of them/it. Usually this only pushes the person into a state of desperation. In the end he/she will simply find new ways of getting more drugs/liquor.
- Don’t let the person persuade you to use drugs or drink with him/her on the grounds that it will make him/her use less. It rarely does. Besides, when you condone the using/drinking, he/she puts off doing something to get help.
- Don’t be jealous of the method of change the person chooses. The tendency is to think that love of home and family is enough incentive for seeking change. Frequently the motivation of regaining self-respect is more compelling for the person than resumption of family responsibilities. You may feel left out when the person turns to other people for helping stay sober. You wouldn’t be jealous of the doctor of someone needing medical care, would you?
- Don’t expect an immediate 100 percent change. In this effort, there is a period of ”convalescence.” There may be relapses and times of tension and resentment.
- Don’t try to protect the person from using/drinking situations. It’s one of the quickest ways to push one into relapse. They must learn on their own to say “no” gracefully. If you warn people against serving him/her drinks, you will stir up old feelings of resentment and inadequacy.
- Don’t do for the person that which he/she can do for him/herself. You cannot take the medicine for him/her. Don’t remove the problem before the person can face it, solve it or suffer the consequences.
- Do offer love, support and understanding in the recovery.
Turning Point Detox helps clients with drug addiction or alcohol addiction in Ontario. Contact us for a FREE consultation. We’re here to help you battle your addiction. We’re serving Hamilton, Burlington, Oakville, Mississauga, Toronto, Waterdown, Ancaster and other areas in Golden Horseshoe.
Friday, October 9th, 2009
It has become an accepted, and commonly held, belief that addiction to drugs and alcohol, or any number of other addictions, is a “disease”. Addicts, and their families, are convinced that they are suffering from an affliction for which there is no known cure. This idea is perpetuated by pop psychology as well as researchers who present statistical data that addiction is hereditary and therefore genetic. With this view addicts are relieved of responsibility for their addiction and are instead seen as victims of the own genetic code. Their only recourse is to a lifetime struggle of trying to stay clean, fighting the addiction day after day.
I conjecture that this is not only an erroneous diagnosis but also unfair and even harmful to those who suffer addiction, as well as to their families and loved ones. I must give some praise here to the many treatment programs, many based on the “12 steps” idea, that can help many to stay clean. Without these programs many would have no viable treatment at all. Yet I would say that these also perpetuate the idea of addiction as a disease. These programs have become a de facto cult, offering a way manage the ‘disease of addiction’ as long as the addict remains ‘in the program’ for life. They offer no hope of cure, not even of self reliance. So addicts are left in a hopeless state of addiction, simple trading their dependence on a substance for dependence on the treatment program. Since the idea of addiction as an incurable disease has taken hold no one offers any real hope.
Addiction is not a disease, it is a symptom. It is inherited from parent to child only in as much as other behaviors, such as child abuse or domestic violence, are passed down from generation to generation. It is a learned behavior based on environment not genetics. But again, it is a symptom not the disease itself. It is a coping, or defense, mechanism used to compensate for a myriad of underlying psychological disorders. We must ask why the addict is addicted not assume the condition is simply a fact of life. We can not merely replace destructive behavior patterns with constructive ones without treating the underlying problem. We must seek the source.
As with any learned behavior the cycle can be broken. Yet to break the addiction we need to find the cause, the true ailment behind the symptom. I would hazard to say, though every addict has their own unique circumstances, that the most common cause of addictive behavior is a deep psychological pain that the addict is trying to suppress. This could come from any number of real or perceived causes in the persons life. In many cases drugs or alcohol abuse can be seen as a defense mechanism for dealing with different forms of post traumatic stress. Whether that be from a childhood filled with abuse or a single tragic event. Yet in every case it is important to find the source of the inner pain and treat the psychological disorder underlying the patients perceived need to self medicate. Unfortunately we have stopped looking for the causes of individual addiction and only try and manage the symptoms.
Modern views on addiction have had the positive effect of destigmatizing the addict, changing common notions of the addict as a worthless wretch to being a fellow human being in need of help. It is time we change the notion of the addict as a poor incurable wretch and begin to try and help heal them of the inner demons that drive their addictive and self destructive behavior.
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
There has to be a better way…
Have you said these words and prayed someone would just show you the way…
We all know that Families suffer from addiction. We are all victims to this drug.
We are expected to function and make all the right decisions that are supposed to change the addict’s lives, with little or no guidance. We are faced with some of the biggest decisions in our lives. How do I fix this mess? How will I get them to realize they need help?
During this time, we don’t sleep, we potentially get sick from our own stress, and we take away precious moments from ourselves and our loved ones as we are so consumed by this addiction.
Then if we are lucky, they get help and begin their recovery…. but what happens to us?
Now… What do we need to do? How do we support them? How do we build trust? How do we avoid getting sucked into the vicious cycle of enabling?
Two full-day workshop: 16 hours of “YOU” time!
Designed for family members who have a loved one who has an addiction or is currently in a recovery program.
The goals of this program are:
- to explore the impact of addiction on family/friends,
- to understand what behaviours enable addiction
- to gain awareness of self
- to learn alternative ways to increase self support
***We have kept the workshop very reasonable to allow all families an equal opportunity to attend.
October 24th and October 25th from 8:30am to 4:30pm
$549.00 plus 5% GST after Oct 6/2009 - (daily lunch included)
Early Registration $499.00 plus 5% GST (by October 6, 2009) via E-transfer to firstname.lastname@example.org. For more information please contact our office.
A loving and healthy family aids the recovery process!
Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
We don’t make personal Changes in a Vacuum. The Human being is a Social creature. We Have Families, we have Significant Others, and we have Friends, Colleagues, and Acquaintances. Once we have initiated and begun to make changes in ourselves it will have effect on the “others” in our lives. These “others” do, and will in turn, have effect on us.
Change will almost invariably create anxiety to some degree. How best to Help, how best to minimize conflict and anxiety, how best to keep together the “Good” in our relationships without allow the natural “Anxiety of Change” from pulling it apart?
This is a Complex Issue. This essay is intended only to “bring to light” a few of the factors involved and prompt further study and effort. To That End…
What Follows contains edited excerpts from “Chronic Anxiety and Defining A Self “– An Introduction to Family System theory, by Michael E. Kerr, published in “The Atlantic Monthly” September 1988.
Dr. Murray Bowen, a professor of Psychiatry at Georgetown University Medical Center, seeing that the family is not a collection of autonomous entities but rather an interlocked emotional unit unto itself developed the concept and perspective of a “Family Systems”.
One aspect that led to this conclusion of emotional interdependence and the family as a unit was the observation that family members frequently function in “reciprocal relationships”. One example is where one member will act “strong” in the face of another’s ‘weakness”. This process was frequently played out with one member become anxious about what he or she perceived as a problem or potential problem in another.
This anxiety then would tend to exaggerate the demeanor, appearance and attitude of the anxious one and further escalate “Problem - Anxiety- Caretaker” cycle. This then results in a greater “caretaker” role which further enhances the ‘weakness” of the other. Each person becomes an emotional prisoner of the other while giving a pseudo sense of togetherness.
Because of this and a number of other reciprocal relationship systems, it is suggested that it is important when making personal changes to also focus attention and have strategies in place to address the family unit as well. When one person makes a ”change” in this system it will have effects on the other persons role. Those effects may be subtle or intense. This resulting change will create “stresses” in the other. If these stresses are not addressed in healthy ways the family unit may break down or the personal change may not be successful.